Last Friday, I admitted that I’m not only a writer, I’m also lysdexic. I am currently hunting for a publisher for my young adult novel about a dyslexic teenager, and figured it might not be too horrible of an idea to try to build a “dyslexia” platform for myself, not just a writing platform. I did this before, I had a whole blog about dyslexia a couple years ago. The problem was that there is only so much to say about bad spelling and I ended up spending most of my time blogging about non-dyslexia related topics. That’s the reason why I moved over here.
I like some of the stuff that I said about dyslexia in some of those old blog posts though. So I’ve decided to re-post a dyslexia related blog post here each Friday. Once I’ve reposted all the good stuff, I’m going to officially take down my old blog. I am starting with a blog I first posted on June 15, 2009. This is hands down the most popular thing I have ever unleashed on the internet. Right now when you google the term “dyslexic jokes” my blog post from 2009 is the number one page that comes up. I usually get 20-30 hits a day, and a lot of comments.
So before I give you the jokes, I’m going to speak to all you future commenters. I AM NOT TRYING TO BE MEAN AND I DON’T THINK YOU ARE STUPID!!! I am dyslexic. I am also an intelligent person with multiple college degrees and a budding writing career. I know that dyslexics aren’t stupid, and I know that if you are dyslexic and reading this, you are probably a very talented person who is capable of doing many wonderful things, just maybe not spelling. But I also know, sometimes it’s good to laugh at yourself. So by posting these jokes, please know that I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing at me. Okay? Are we good now?
Without further ado, here are some of my favorite dyslexia jokes.
A dyslexic walked into a bra…
What do you get when the you cross a dyslexic, and agnostic, and an insomniac.
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there’s a dog.
Dyslexics of the world UNTIE.
The National Association of Dyslexics, also known as A.N.D.
The satanic dyslexic sold his sole to Santa.
How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
103: 1 to hold the bulb and 102 to read the directions.
Why did the dyslexic cross the road?
To get to the Horse Diet
After a trip to the doctor my friends informed me, “It’s bad. I’ve got the big C.”
“Oh no, cancer?”
Teacher: “You have horrible grammar.”
Dyslexic: “You’ve never even met her.”
First dyslexic cook: “Can you smell gas?”
Second dyslexic cook: “I can’t even smell my own name.”
A dyslexic entered a spelling bee. She came in SALT.
A dyslexic kid asks his mom if they can go to McDonald’s for dinner. She says, “You can go if you can spell it.” The kid replies. “I changed my mind. Can we go to KFC instead?”
Two dyslexics run into a bank and shout “Air in the hands mother stickers this is a f*ck up.”